


My Personal Kink List

by nanuk_dain



Category: RED (2010)
Genre: F/F, First Time, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-04
Updated: 2011-05-04
Packaged: 2017-10-19 00:11:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/194763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah notices her tendency to fall for a certain kind of person. Preferably older. Then she finds out that that's only the beginning of her personal kink list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Personal Kink List

When she first became aware of her heart beating way too fast in Victoria's presence, Sarah wondered if maybe she had a kink for people who were at least twenty years older than she was. First her attraction to Frank and now this. Why Victoria, of all people? The most dangerous woman she had ever met, and of course she had to fall for her. Maybe it was a older-and-dangerous kink.

The precise moment of this realisation had been brought on by Victoria correcting her stance when they were out for shooting practise for the first time. Well, it was more that Victoria had declared that they needed to find an occupation for Sarah, some way for her to be useful if she wanted to join them on missions. That had been about two months after Moldova and about a week after Frank and Sarah had called off their relationship, deciding that there were not the kind of feelings between them that they both had hoped for. Not the passionate, all-consuming, deeply in love kind of feelings like in their books. It were more the utterly familiar, deeply trusting, best friend kind of feelings. Friends with benefits, maybe, because the sex had been really awesome.

Anyway, after Victoria's declaration, every member of the Gang had taken their turn to introduce Sarah to their speciality. Marvin had shown her his file-collection and had explained – or tried, at least – how to observe and gather intel. She obviously didn't think along the same lines as him. Frank had given her an all around intro in weapons of every kind, explosives and their creation, how to get fake papers and how to make them, hand to hand combat and some mean tricks to gain the upper hand in an uneven fight. Sarah found she just lacked the physical strength for most of it. And at some point, it had been Victoria's turn and she'd taken Sarah in the woods behind her house where she's set up a little practise course. She'd given her a short introduction to the huge rifle she'd brought along and then asked Sarah to take a shot. The trigger for Sarah's realisation that her heart was beating way to fast had neither been the foreign feeling of the rifle in her hands, nor the fact that Victoria had corrected her.

It had rather been _how_ Victoria had done it. To make Sarah assume the right grip on the surprisingly heavy rifle, she had stepped behind her, covering Sarah's arms and hands with her own, guiding her hold and correcting Sarah's stance by pushing her own legs against hers. In the end, Sarah hadn't been able _not_ to notice how their position resembled more a lover's embrace than a shooting exercise. Well, minus the rifle.

Sarah had never felt this _close_ to somebody, never felt more _intimate_ than at the moment she had fired the shot, Victoria's finger over hers when she pulled the trigger, her warmth and her surprising strength in Sarah's back, her legs pressed against hers, her breath in her neck. Up to this day, Sarah had no idea how she'd managed to actually hit the target square in the centre. It must have been Victoria's aim, not hers. Who was about as surprised as Sarah about fantastic aim of the shot, so maybe it hadn't been her doing.

When Victoria had let go of her afterwards, Sarah had instantly missed the contact. It had been the first time she'd fired a shot, and she had never expected to connect this experience with sexual arousal, but she'd know immediately that she would. Hopefully nobody would ever ask her how she remembered the first time she'd taken a shot, because she wasn't sure she could explain the feeling. Or wanted to.

Victoria had made her shoot for good twenty minutes afterwards, and even though Sarah hadn't been able to repeat her awesome first shot, Victoria had seemed utterly pleased with her performance. She proved to be a strict teacher, paying very close attention to Sarah's posture and the correct grip on the rifle, and when she told Sarah to stop, Sarah had felt muscles hurt that she hadn't even known existed. Her arms shivered from the effort to hold up the rifle and her shoulder hurt vaguely from the recoil of the gun. She knew now why Victoria's frame had felt so strong against her back.

When they'd returned to the house, Victoria had declared to the rest of the Gang that Sarah was going to be trained as a sharpshooter. Sarah had been surprised by the content expression in Victoria's eyes, but she had to agree that shooting was fun and she seemed to have a certain talent for it, so why not?

So it came that Sarah spent a lot of time with Victoria. And that she found herself watching the older woman. There was just something about the way Victoria changed when she held a weapon. Preferably something fast, large and long-range. She became every ounce the killer she had been trained to be, and Sarah just couldn't help the effect it had on her. It was incredibly hot, this single-minded, focussed concentration, the look in her eyes, the set of her mouth. All Sarah could think about in those moments was how fantastic it had to feel to be in the centre of this intense attention. Well, preferably not through the scope, though.

It made her wonder if Victoria was equally focussed in bed. And that thought normally resulted in waves of goosebumps and her imagination going crazy and in those moments, Sarah was incredibly grateful that she wasn't a man. Because then, she would have had serious problems at hiding her thoughts. Walking would have been physically impossible. At this point, Sarah conceded her mom might have been right and Sarah had some gay tendencies. At least where Victoria was concerned.

Maybe she should add a weapon kink to her list. A Victoria-with-a-rifle kink, to be precise.

And all the time she spent with Victoria training her led straight to the next realisation. When Victoria talked, even if it were only a few words, Sarah noticed her British English every single time. She would never have guessed that a British accent might be a turn-on for her, but she found out that indeed, it was. She had to fight sometimes not to close her eyes, ban any other impression and concentrate only on Victoria's voice. She liked the sound of it, the way Victoria pronounced certain words entirely different. Add that to her alluring dark voice, and Sarah knew she had found two more kinks. It should probably worry her how fast that list grew.

Sarah couldn't help that she seemed to develop an involuntary awareness of Victoria, that she noticed things about her she didn't notice about other people. Little things, unimportant things. Like that her hair curled around the ends when it got wet. Or that Victoria's mood was reflected in her choice of lipstick colour. Or that she preferred tea to coffee and liked it with milk and sugar. Sarah knew even how much sugar. That was where she admitted to herself that she might actually be a little bit in love.

The next time the Gang took on a contract, Victoria gave her one of her rifles and told her that this was her first in-the-field practise. Victoria made sure everybody was fitted with mics and earpieces so that they knew at every moment if something went wrong, and Sarah felt oddly reassured by it when she took her position on the roof of a three-storey building. She was nervous, and she shivered a little bit when she lay on the ground, positioning her rifle and adjusting the scope. This was the first time nobody was next to her and she was on her own, the first time she might have to shoot a _person_. Kill a person. Well, technically, Sarah was the last defence line and the plan was that she didn't have to shoot, but when had things ever gone according to plan?

Sarah licked her dry lips and peeked through the scope, finetuning it and adopting her position for a better angle. A whiff of Victoria's perfume reached her nose and Sarah sniffed unconsciously. It was only after a few seconds that she realised it came from the gloves Victoria had lend her, those which were cut off at the trigger finger to allow better control of the rifle. She raised one hand to her nose, took a deep breath and smiled. It was astonishing how the scent alone managed to calm her down.

All right, she would have to add a perfume kink to her list.

“I'm in position.” Sarah told the others over the mic when she was settled.

“Good.” Victoria's calm voice replied. “Stay focussed, the boys can come out at any moment.”

“Okay.” After that, there was a rather long time of doing nothing but waiting. Victoria had made her go through many of those exercises where Sarah had to stay in one position for sometimes hours at a time without even firing a shot in the end. She'd said that this was the real life of a sharpshooter, not the action filled gunfights the movies portrayed. Real was waiting and doing nothing and still never letting your guard down. Backache, heat, cold, rain, pins and needles in parts of your body where you had never expected it possible. And she'd made Sarah experience every single one of those things.

Sometimes Sarah had wanted to hate her for it. Especially this one time when she'd been lying outside on the roof of an old warehouse with nothing but a light blanket. It had been freaking cold and she'd been there for the whole night, and every time she began to drift off, Victoria had called her on it over the mic. Sarah had never found out where Victoria had taken stand, but she hadn't let Sarah off the hook for the entire night. It was only now that Sarah began to truly understand the reason for the hard training sessions, because waiting and staying sharp didn't take her any effort at all now. And when Frank and Marvin called in over the mics that they had some problems – what a surprise – and were coming out on her side of the building, Sarah was good and ready to shoot.

Marvin came out first, closely followed by Frank. And a whole squat team of whatever security service this drug dealer guy retained. Sarah saw immediately that they wore vests and that helped a lot not to hesitate for a second to shoot them. She aimed for the torso, knowing the calibre of her rifle wouldn't punch through the kevlar, but it would hurt like hell and take the guys out for a while. She decided that she could wait with killing people until her second mission.

In retrospective, Sarah was surprised how her focus narrowed down to the sight of her scope, how easily she took aim and fired, how she knew which angle to take and when to pull the trigger. Her breath was in perfect sync with her shots, just like Victoria had taught her, and she felt an profound calm take hold of her mind and body. It didn't take long for Frank and Marvin to make good use of the cover she provided and when they were safe, Sarah quickly left her position.

“That was very good, Sarah.” Victoria praised over the line and Sarah smiled while she quickly climbed down the fire escape. “Meeting in ten minutes.”

“See you in a bit!” Sarah replied, a grin on her face and her heart suddenly beating frantically. She felt amazing.

“Good job.” Frank said with a respectful nod when he and Marvin joined them in the parking lot where they were supposed to regroup after the job. “That was close.”

“Thanks.” Sarah replied and grinned in stunned satisfaction. She had never believed she could actually do this, really do this, but the reassuring pressure of Victoria's hand on her back and Frank's words convinced her otherwise.

Not to mention that she liked the kick she got from shooting. It was addictive. She understood perfectly well why Victoria couldn't just settle down into retirement. Once you'd got a taste of this, there was no way out. Sarah knew that was true for herself, too. She could never go back to her old life. Not after she'd experienced the drug-like high that came from a good shot. Not after she'd been caught in this feeling of camaraderie that bonded the Gang. Not after she'd lived through deadly terror and the indescribable relief and happiness that came with survival.

Not after she'd felt Victoria's frame behind her when they'd taken that very first shot together. Not when she desperately wished to experience it again, this closeness, this connection, this intimacy.

She didn't even know how to name _that_ kink.

In those calm moments when nobody was shooting at them, Sarah took the time to look at Victoria. Really look. Unobtrusively, of course. Well, Victoria caught her looking more often than not. But still.

Victoria had an unusual face. She was not your typical beauty, but there was something about her face that stood out. Sarah couldn't pinpoint what it was – and she had looked extensively and had thought about it a lot – and she wondered if it were the fascinating green eyes or that smile with which Victoria could twist everybody around her little finger. Another point for Sarah's list, apparently, were green eyes. Frank had green eyes, too. Hmm, she was so predictable, really.

Sarah had been surprised, though, to find that she liked that Victoria was smaller than her. She had never in her life been with somebody who'd been smaller than her, but with Victoria, she didn't mind. Well, she hadn't ever been with a woman, either, so maybe the height wasn't the only new experience. Not that they were together, mind you. That was something Sarah hadn't found a solution for. Yet. She was working on it, though.

Because she wanted Victoria. New as the feeling might be, it was also unmistakably clear. Sometimes she wondered if it was some kind of hero worship that had gone too far. But when she looked at Victoria – never mind if they were on a mission and she was all bad ass or if they were at home and she was in the kitchen baking biscuits with an apron around her waist – Sarah felt a mix of heat, affection and desire that made it clear it wasn't only hero worship. It went so far that she actually found Victoria's reading glasses adorable and was more than once tempted to pull them off her face and kiss her senseless. Great, now she had a glasses kink, too.

Sarah hadn't ever followed any of these spontaneous urges, though, because she wasn't sure she'd survive it. She was quite certain that Victoria would make it unmistakably clear if she didn't appreciate the advances, and Sarah wasn't keen on finding out how she'd do that. It was wise to never forget just how dangerous Victoria could be.

And then there was Ivan, who seemed to range high in Victoria's affection. Very high. Sarah was actually quite certain that they were together in every sense of the word. She had never seen any proof and she'd never asked, but that was hardly necessary. Victoria disappeared for days sometimes, leaving Sarah a note with training instructions and a book on rifles, scopes or whatever she deemed worth reading. It was obvious where she went and Sarah didn't have to be psychic to know what she did.

It hurt, though, every single time. But Sarah knew better than to come in between lovers, it was something she would never do, and if Victoria had found her happiness with Ivan, who was Sarah to mess with it? Not that she thought she could. So Sarah kept her thoughts to herself and silently enlarged her kink list. Nobody knew about her one-sided crush for Victoria and it was good that way.

Or so she thought.

Until Frank came to Eagle's Nest during one of Victoria's spontaneous absences. He didn't seem to be the least surprised she wasn't home and followed Sarah into the living room where she'd been working on the latest reading Victoria had left her. It was about wind and its influence on the trajectory of the bullet. A lot of physics, but it was surprisingly interesting. At some point, Sarah had even gotten pen and paper to take notes. It wasn't that easy to understand, after all.

“So, why are you here?” Sarah asked and gathered her reading material from where she'd spread it all over the couch.

“I was in the area and thought I'd come by for a late afternoon coffee.” Frank replied and watched her. “What do you have there?”

Sarah held up the papers with a smirk. “Reading material for the time Victoria's gone on her fourteenth mini-honeymoon.”

Great, she even knew exactly how many times Victoria had left for her 'meetings' with Ivan. Sarah wanted to shake her head about her own stupid infatuation.

“Victoria and Ivan are not together.” Frank stated calmly and sat down on the couch.

“What?” Sarah asked utterly perplexed, papers in her hand forgotten. “But all those days she just disappears...”

Frank shrugged. “Sometimes it were single-person contracts, sometimes she came to visit me, and sometimes she went to exhibitions or trade fairs she wanted to see.”

“But...” Sarah began, a deep frown on her face. “Why didn't she tell me?”

Frank looked at her, one eyebrow raised. “Did you ever ask?”

“No.” Sarah was quiet for a moment. “I just assumed that...”

“That was the whole point of this exercise.” Frank interrupted her. “You _assumed_.”

Sarah looked at him in confusion. “And?”

“ _Never_ assume.” Frank said seriously, holding her gaze. “That's part of the lesson she wanted to teach you. Assumptions can be wrong, can lead to the wrong decisions. In this line of occupation that can end deadly, not only for you but also for those who work with you.”

Sarah was completely overwhelmed and couldn't do anything but nod. She had never asked because she'd been so certain that Victoria was seeing Ivan. It seemed so obvious. But it was true that she had never seen any proof for it. Her assumption had been totally and absolutely wrong, and she'd never done the easiest thing to verify it: she just could have asked Victoria.

“Research, question, analyse. Be sure of what you know before you make a decision.” Frank's voice was low and firm, his gaze was still focussed on her. Sarah just felt incredibly stupid and sat down on the couch next to him, the papers crumpled in her hand.

“What should I do?” she asked after a long moment of silence and gnawed on her bottom lip.

“Talk to her.” Frank suggested with an encouraging bump to her shoulder and smiled at her. “She won't bite you – well, she might, but I'm quite sure you'll like it then.”

Sarah stared at him, mouth hanging open. He hadn't just said that. He couldn't have. He grinned teasingly. Well, maybe he had.

“What I want to say,” he continued when it was obvious Sarah wouldn't be able to form any words, “is that she likes you a lot, or she would have never taken you in. Not like this.”

“What do you mean?” Sarah managed to ask, not entirely certain where this conversation was heading.

“You're basically living with her, Sarah. She trusts you so much that she falls asleep when you're in the same room and I've seen that she doesn't wake when you touch her.” Frank made a break and looked at her intently. “That is an enormous amount of trust for an agent.”

Sarah nodded slowly. She began to understand.

“And I happen to know that she's been with women on occasion.” Frank remarked with an overly innocent expression on his face.

Sarah laughed in relief, well aware that she was indeed blushing. “Do you want to tell me anything, Frank?”

Frank grinned broadly. “Go for it, girl!”

It broke the serious atmosphere once and for all. Especially when Frank presented the beers he'd bought on the way and they settled on the couch to watch the DVDs he'd brought, knowing Victoria only owned difficult, highly intellectual movies that didn't go well with beer. And political thrillers, and he really had enough of that in his own life. So they spent the evening watching romantic comedies and low budget action movies and Sarah was grateful that she'd found such a good friend in Frank. Even though he didn't stop teasing her about Victoria for the entire evening.

When Victoria came back late the next day, Frank had been gone for some hours, leaving Sarah with a last pointed remark about how much Victoria liked biting. Hadn't he already been out of the door at that point, Sarah would have kicked him out. She was still tempted to get her rifle and shoot him where it hurt. Maybe in the butt, giving him a bite of her own personal kind. His car had left the driveway before she had made up her mind where to shoot him and she decided that was his luck.

Victoria returned in the early hours of the evening. Sarah had heard her car in the driveway and waited in the hallway when the entrance door opened. She was indeed nervous, as if the talk with Frank had changed something. Well, it had. Sarah had decided that she would finally ask Victoria where she'd been. Show that she had understood the lesson.

“Good evening, Sarah.” Victoria greeted her with a smile and Sarah couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was with her hair tousled from the wind and a fresh red tinge on her cheeks from the cold.

“Welcome back.” Sarah said with a smile of her own and approached Victoria to help with her fur coat. Victoria really had a thing for fur in all kinds, Sarah had noticed.

“Thank you, dear.” Victoria turned around and let Sarah strip the heavy coat off her shoulders.

Sarah took a deep breath. “Where did your trip go to?”

Victoria went completely still in front of her. Sarah knew she'd understood what Sarah really asked, and she silently thanked Frank for his encouraging words, or she would never have done this.

“I went to a flower fair in Williamsburg.” Victoria said and from her position behind her, Sarah noticed again how much they differed in height. She wanted to wrap her arms around Victoria's waist, pull her close and feel her strong frame leaning against her. Wanted to bow her head and bury her nose in the soft hair. Sarah licked her lips and stared at the exposed skin of Victoria's neck in front of her, coat totally forgotten in her right hand.

“How was it?” Sarah asked and she was surprised how different her voice sounded, somehow rougher and darker and _teasing_.

“I cut it short.” Victoria replied and made no attempt to turn around. Instead, she leaned backwards a little bit, and Sarah saw it. “I had planned to stay for two more days, actually.”

Sarah desperately hoped Frank had been right when she took a step forwards. Now, she stood so close to Victoria that she could feel her body heat radiate through her clothes. “Why are you back so soon, then?”

“Well, Frank called.” Victoria said in voice that betrayed she was smirking. “He told me to 'go for it'.”

Sarah couldn't help a chuckle. “Yeah, I've heard that before.”

“I decided it was wise council.” Victoria went on, voice even darker than usual, and leaned back until her back was pressed against Sarah. “And that I should act on it.”

Sarah felt a wave of desire rush through her body, from head to toe. Her skin prickled with pleasant anticipation and her hands acted on their own accord and settled on Victoria's hips in a slow, caressing touch. She bend over until her nose was hidden in Victoria's hair and her lips were close to her ear. “I agree. You should act on it.”

Victoria leaned into her touch and raised her arm over her head. Her hand settled on Sarah's jaw and she turned her own head until her lips touched Sarah's in a slow, light kiss. It was a question and Sarah smiled in response, then she bend down again, followed the lead of the hand on her jaw, and let herself be pulled in deep kiss.

Well, maybe she could reduce her list to one single point: She had a Victoria kink.


End file.
